Jerry, you need to find god
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I party with great urgency now.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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