I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Boobs speak an international language.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
