Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
