I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
