If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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