well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
