Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
