Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
