Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
