Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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