you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
