If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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