Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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