What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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