ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize