thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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