sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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