no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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