You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize