i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
