So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
