We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
