did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
