Fuck appropriateness.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
