Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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