i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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