Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
