either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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