You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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