if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
