I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
