Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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