If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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