I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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