wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
