Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
