I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
