I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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