Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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