you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
