Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
