You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
