at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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