I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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