What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
