How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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