Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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