i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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