i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
