That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
