gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
