Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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