I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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