therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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