Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
