Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
