these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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