i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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