I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
