Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize