belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
