i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize