2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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