I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
