so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
