Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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