Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
