Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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