I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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