did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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