Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
