coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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