So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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