We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
