I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
