Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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